How To Know If You’re Unequally Yoked
Please watch: “Should Christians Listen to Secular Music?”
What does it mean to be unequally yoked? That’s coming up next on the BEAT.
Hey everyone my name is Allen Parr thank you so much for visiting my channel. Here on the BEAT we release a new video every Tuesday and today we are answering the question, “What does it mean” or “what does it look like to be unequally yoked?” This idea comes from 2 Cor. 6:14 where Paul says, “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers.” So today I want to talk about what that means and then give you four ways you can tell you’re in an unequally yoked relationship.
CONCEPT: Paul uses the imagery of two oxen whose necks are connected to one another with a yoke. Farmers would “yoke” animals together to plow fields or carry heavy loads. They were taught never to yoke together say a horse with an ox because they differed in size, strength, purpose and capacity. So because they are connected with a yoke, one of the animals would overtake and control the other taking it in the wrong direction resulting in the field never getting plowed.
1. Different Spiritual Maturity
a. I’m talking more specifically to the women here because you’ll often see a woman in church without her husband but you’ll rarely see a man in church without his family if he is a spiritual leader.
b. You’re gonna find yourself consistently caught between obeying God and submitting to your husband.
c. Either you’re gonna grow spiritually which means you won’t be able to share the most important part of you with your husband because he won’t be able to understand. Your with someone who can’t even relate to the most important part of you.
d. Or what normally happens is your spiritual growth will be stunted because of his.
e. Can your mate eventually come around and be the spiritual leader you desire? Yes, but it’s rare and we are advised to avoid such cases.
f. Now there is one exception here and that is if the man is 1) showing tangible signs of investing in his spiritual growth and 2) Teachable
2. Different Values
a. MONEY – You want to give money to the church; they want to buy new furniture
b. CHURCH INVOLVEMENT – You want to serve in church; they think you’re at the church too much
c. You want to go to church together; they would rather stay home
d. DECISION MAKING – You believe the bible is the final authority on making decisions. They believe it’s an old antiquated book with no relevance. They have a different way of making decisions.
e. PRAYER – You want to pray together. They don’t see the point or don’t know how.
f. You want to use vacation to go on a missions trip; they don’t see the value
g. RAISING KIDS – Raising Kids
h. MORALS – When someone consistently pressures or tempts you to go against what you morally believe is wrong you’re unequally yoked.
i. All of these different values can cause friction and tension and ultimately break down the relationship.
3. Different Purposes
a. I’m not talking about two Christians who have different purposes but both of them are under the umbrella of Christian service.
b. I’m not moreso about one person who feels called to Christian service and the other feels called to corporate, entertainment, sports, etc.
c. Both of them are going to give all their time, energy, passion and money to what they feel called to and eventually their paths will take them in different directions creating tension and friction in the relationship.
d. Or at some point one of them is going to have to sacrifice what they feel “called” to for the good of the relationship which often times leads to deep-seated resentment.
So can two Christians be unequally yoked? Well, the Bible nowhere discourages us from marrying another Christian. However, the bigger the gap in spiritual maturity the more differences you’ll have to work through in marriage.